Alone in a Crowded Room
When I was little, my sisters, cousins, and I would often have slumber parties at our grandparents’ home. They had a record player in their house, which we thought was so cool, and we would play the song “Chewy, Chewy” by Ohio Express endlessly while dancing in the living room. (Seriously, if you’re in a bad mood, do yourself a favor and click on the link above to listen to this song right now.)
It was pure chaos, and we loved every second of it. All of the grandkids would be jumping around, screaming out the lyrics at the top of our longs, and begging Grandma and Grandad to please come and dance with us.
Well, “beg” is a strong word. They loved dancing, so we didn’t have to really beg as much as just get them to stop what they were doing for a moment and enter into the madness.
Grandma and Grandad were fantastic dancers, and I loved to watch them in their element. Grandma’s face would light up, full of energy and confidence, and as Grandad joined in, you could visibly see all of the stress and worry of life on his face melting away to the rhythm of the music.
They had a love that I had always viewed as a fairytale. Even in their 70s (which now seems so much younger than it did when I was little), they would still flirt with one another and affectionately hold hands or hug in the kitchen. They might have bickered now and again about silly things like Grandad tracking mud into the house, but their love was strong and they were nearly inseparable.
When we lost Grandad at the age of 73, it was very unexpected. A gaping hole was left in the lives of every member of the family, but none more so than Grandma.
I spent the night with Grandma for two weeks straight, and I can still remember waking up in the middle of the night because the bed was shaking from her uncontrollable sobs that wracked her body. The grief that had overtaken us was beyond human understanding. All I could do was wrap my arms around her and cry with her. I was 16 years old, and I had never felt so helpless before.
To be honest, Grandma never was the same after Grandad. Always the life of the party, she had lost that spark and spunk. She once told my dad that even in a crowded room, she felt so alone after Grandad passed away.
She tried to carry on for everyone else’s sake, and she was still the loving and fun Grandma that we had grown up with, but she grieved Grandad’s death every day for the rest of her life over the next 11 years. Her physical health took a downhill turn, and I fully believe the grief and loneliness are the root.
The last few years of her life, she lived with my parents, and at the time, I had moved back in to my parents’ house, as well. One night, Grandma and I were sitting in the living room watching TV, and I noticed that she was just staring off into space for quite a while, oblivious to her favorite show, Frasier, playing on the screen.
A little concerned, I asked her what she was thinking about. As she was drawn back into the present moment, she smiled wistfully and simply said, “Grandad.”
Even though Grandma was rarely alone after Grandad passed, she struggled under the substantial weight of loneliness for more than a decade. Watching her carry that load was more than I could bear at times, because she was just so sad and lost without him. But even through her own years-long battle with grief and loneliness, Grandma was there to encourage me and speak hope into my life in the midst of my own seasons of loneliness.
Today, I hope to encourage others, just as my Grandma did for me, who may be buckling under the crushing weight of loneliness in this season of life.
This doesn’t feel like a Valentine’s post…
With this being Valentine’s Day week, I really anticipated being led to write a post about love or devotion. However, all week long I kept thinking about how this time of year can be really heavy for people.
Often a cold and dreary time of year (although this week has been uncharacteristically blessed with a lot of sun, praise God), the bleak skies can make it difficult to see hope anywhere on the horizon in even the best of situations.
And for those who may be struggling right now, in addition to the somber physical environment of February are all of the commercials, advertisements, and products in your face that seem to scream “Everyone has someone who loves them…except for you!”
Therefore, I wanted to simply offer a prayer and encouragement to those who may be drowning in a sea of loneliness and despair today.
Specifically, I am talking to and praying for:
those who have a desire to be married and are overcome by loneliness as they are anxiously waiting for that prayer to be answered.
those who may be in a marriage, but are experiencing a loneliness within that relationship that they didn’t even realize could exist.
those who have lost their loved one and are grappling with the emptiness that surrounds them, whether the loss is new or now a scar from decades ago.
those who have felt abandoned by friends, or maybe have never truly had genuine friends, and are desperately praying for the Lord to send people to walk with through this life.
those who are or feel as if they are an orphan, whether in the natural or spiritually, and are asking the Lord to provide a family for them in the midst of loneliness.
Prayers
If you are experiencing loneliness in this season of life, then please pray the following prayer with me that applies to your situation or the situation of someone for whom you are lifting up in prayer today:
Papa God, thank you for the sunshine today. What a reminder it is that your love is as steadfast and reliable as the sun that rises each and every morning. I know that you see each and every single hurting and broken heart today.
I thank you for your promise in Deuteronomy 31:8 that you will always be with us: “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (NIV, emphasis added).
For those who are lonely in the waiting…
Papa, we know that it is not your will for us to be shackled by loneliness, because You said yourself that, “…It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him” (Genesis 2:18, NLT). So we are leaning on that word, and I stand in the gap today for those whose hearts desire a Godly spouse.
Let them not make an idol out of marriage, but if you have placed that desire in their heart to be married, then give them hope and encouragement today to keep hanging on and pressing in during this season. In the waiting period, I pray that you help them to draw closer to you so that they can be the Godly man or woman that you desire for them to be once it is time to be married. Replace their loneliness with an eager anticipation of what you are going to bring to them in your perfect time. Let them be so filled with your love and your spirit and walk so closely to you that there is no room for loneliness. While you have ordained marriage as a blessing and something holy to be revered, let us never forget that a spouse does not - nor were they ever designed to - complete us. We find our completion in you, Jesus Christ, as well as our joy and every other good thing in life.
For those who are experiencing loneliness in marriage…
Papa, my heart aches for those who feel rejected or even abandoned within their marriage. We know that the entity of marriage was created and blessed by you, and because of that, the enemy wants nothing more than to destroy marriage, which is the foundation of the family and should be a microcosm of the church within the home.
I rebuke and bind with the blood of Jesus any spiritual strongholds that may be trying to destroy marriage. I speak life into what may appear to be the most hopeless of situations and remind them what Jesus said to the Pharisees: “‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:7-9, NIV, emphasis mine).
Please speak to the spouse who may be causing the hurt, pain, and loneliness to exist. Rekindle the love that they once felt, and convict them of their neglect of such a precious gift. Speak to the spouse who is experiencing loneliness and remind them that we find our completion in You, Lord, not in any person. Let them be so filled with your love that they are able to love out of an overflow of your goodness.
Holy Spirit, move in the hearts of everyone involved and help them to repent and break down any walls so that they can be truly vulnerable in order to fully love one another like you love us.
For those who have lost their loved one(s)…
Papa, I thank you that when we and those we love are children of Christ, death has no power over us in light of eternity. However, while we are still here in the flesh, our hearts ache for those who have gone on before us.
Your word says that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18, NIV). So I am believing that for each and every person who is overcome by loneliness in the absence of their loved ones here on this earth. Give them spiritual eyes to see and the ability to feel you tangibly closer to them than their next breath.
Remind them that you are the God who sees us, and that you weep with us when our hearts are breaking. Restore their hope and encouragement, and help them to see that better days are ahead because of You. Give them the strength to keep moving forward and remind them that they have a purpose on this earth. Flood them with your love in a way that quiets the loneliness and the racing thoughts. Bring them a peace that surpasses all understanding.
For those who have felt abandoned by friends…
Papa, thank you for the gift of friendship in this world. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (NIV). Your word speaks so much about the topic of friendship and you give clear instruction on what a friend should or should not look like. Because of this, we know that you view Godly friendships as a blessing as we journey through this world.
Therefore, I specifically lift up those who feel as if they have been abandoned by friends and are feel so alone right now. I cannot help but feel as if when we cry out to you to send us Godly friends that it is a prayer that you enjoy answering in your goodness. Please send Godly friends to surround and encourage those who are lonely and searching for companionship and wise counsel. Teach us how to be a good and Godly friend to those around us, as well.
For those who are or feel as if they are an orphan…
Papa, I thank you for the promise that you gave us in John 14:18 when you said, “ I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you” (NIV). David describes you as a, “Father to the fatherless” and praises you for placing “the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:5-6, NLT). You are a good and loving Father, and the orphan is one close to your heart.
I ask that just as Psalm 68 says, you would place the lonely hearts in families who would pour out your Godly love on them. I pray that you would pour out your favor on them and show them what a father’s love should be like. Remind them that they are not alone and that you have known them since before they were even formed in their mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13-16, NIV).
I pray that they would truly be able to grasp the truth that you created them not because you needed them, but because you wanted them. Wrap your arms around them tight, and allow them to bask in your love that destroys loneliness at the root.
Final thoughts
I hope that you were able to find encouragement and peace in the prayers above. If someone you know may be struggling with loneliness, please share this post with them.
Perhaps none of the situations above applied to your specific experience with loneliness. I want to encourage you to remember that we serve a God who is faithful and He sees you in the midst of whatever you are facing right now. Loneliness is not His intent for you or your life, and I know that your story is not over, so hang in there and press into His presence more than ever before. Please know that I will be covering you in prayer, and I am believing for you that your need will be met in God’s perfect timing, friend.
As always, we pray that the Lord blesses you greatly and that you forever look to Him as your personal guide and Savior as we all continue to travel between two worlds. 🤎