A Blended Culture Christmas Story
Reflections on our first Christmas together in America, the true meaning of Christmas, and creating our own Christmas traditions as a family
Many of you have been asking what Christmas looks like in a blended culture household, so we wanted to share a glimpse of our life during the holiday season with you.
Okay, so what I just said above is actually a lie. No one has asked us to share that. I just felt like I had to say that to make us feel more relevant and hip. Did it work? No?
Well, regardless, here is what Christmas looks like in a half-Mozambican half-American home. Enjoy.
We’ll Make Our Own
When my husband and I first confessed our feelings for one another, we were on a safari together in South Africa. I will be sure to make a post in the future giving more details on how we met, but for now, just know that one of the things we were keenly aware of was the fact that cultural differences (nevermind the nearly 9,000 miles of distance between us) would inevitably make things more challenging for our relationship.
We were sitting outside beneath a starry sky one evening, discussing what our future looked like. (Before I make this sound too romantically perfect, just know that I was also unknowingly burning our dinner at this very moment.) I finally just asked him point blank, “What if the cultural differences are just too much?” He paused for the briefest of moments before thoughtfully saying, “Then we’ll make our own.”
And from that moment on, that is what we have been trying to do. So, I thought it was fitting to share with you what a multicultural Christmas looks like for our family.
The Wife’s Story
I will never forget the first Christmas that my husband and I spent together. He had just arrived here in the U.S. in early November, and I was bound and determined to give him a taste of an authentic southern American Christmas, whatever that meant.
Having consumed more Hallmark Christmas movies than should be humanly possible, I could already envision how the holidays would be. In my head, there played on repeat a montage of us that looked something like the following Ultimate Romantic Christmas To-Do Checklist I had subconsciously created:
First, we would decorate the house. Christmas music, probably Bing Crosby, would be playing in the background as I stood on tiptoe on a ladder (this is not even necessary as I have probably been able to place the tree topper atop the tree standing flat-footed since I was in 6th grade). Of course, at some point, as I reached to put an ornament on the tree, I would gracefully lose my balance, and he would have to catch me in a dramatic embrace as he kept me from crashing into the tree. (In reality, if I fell on him now, the impact of my weight would probably result in a few broken ribs at best and loss of life at worst.)
As we continued the decorating, merrily dancing through the house (why did I think this? I seriously cannot dance and he reminds me of this frequently), there would undoubtedly be the moment where the mistletoe is hung in the doorway. We would catch one another’s eye and sheepishly share a Christmas kiss. (In real life, he would probably see me staring at him like a weirdo and ask me what was wrong.)
Next, we would bake cookies together, which would certainly conclude with a light-hearted food fight where we were both covered in flour and sprinkles. (And let me just say, that had this happened, said flour and sprinkles would still be decorating my kitchen four years later due to my incompetency in house cleaning skills.)
We cannot forget about the beautiful snow resulting in a white Christmas that we would inevitably experience. (It was literally 70 degrees Fahrenheit on Christmas Day in our town in 2019. My husband wore shorts and sandals to our Christmas family brunch.) And everyone knows that if there is snow, there will undoubtedly be a playful snow fight that takes place. (Truthfully, our snow fight would look more like the ski resort scene from Dumb and Dumber and most likely end with someone having a bloody nose.)
You see, I had it all perfectly planned out like any good control freak would do. So imagine my surprise when I asked him, “So what is Christmas like in Mozambique?” and he replied with, “Umm, we have a day off from work and get to eat meat.” He went on to explain that he didn’t understand why Americans did all of this extra stuff for the holidays.
(Cue the Bing Crosby Christmas record screeching to an abrupt halt.)
Wait. What?
This man is a Godly man and a follower of Christ. What did he mean that he doesn’t understand why we do “all of this extra stuff”?
I felt the indignant spirit of Clark Griswold rising up in me, and I contemplated calling in my pastoral friends to help with an emergency exorcism. Undeterred, I resolved to make him love Christmas as much as I did.
Four years later, I am still on a mission and, as he just reminded me when he read over this first part, probably will be for many years to come.
The Husband’s Story
I would like to begin by assuring everyone that yes, we do know that it is Christmas time in Africa.
However, growing up in a non-Christian and a very humble family in Mozambique, Christmas looked quite different from the American version you know. The truth is that Christmas went unnoticed for many, but not necessarily for the same reasons that Band Aid sang about in 1985. There were no Christmas decorations or Christmas lights on the streets, no Christmas trees in the stores, no ornaments to hang, or Santa-shaped chocolates to eat, and definitely no department store on every corner marketing the latest toys for children as must-have Christmas gifts.
In fact, you might be surprised to learn that Christmas is not officially recognized as a national holiday in Mozambique. After receiving its independence from Portugal, Mozambique established its own national holidays and December 25th was officially declared "Family Day." However, Christian households in Mozambique have always recognized and celebrated December 25th as, first and foremost, the birth of Jesus Christ. But regardless of religion, most Mozambicans spend the 25th with family and loved ones.
Christmas, or Family Day, as we more commonly knew it as kids, was always full of uncertainty, but at the same time fun. For wealthier families, kids could count on receiving gifts each year on Family Day, such as school supplies, new clothing, and shoes. This time of year was uncertain for our family, because we never knew if we would be lucky enough to get anything at all. Many years, there was no money for presents, but even when we received no gifts, it was still so much fun.
I remember a few years where we would miraculously each receive a brand new pair of shoes, a t-shirt, and a pair of jeans for that occasion. (But let's clarify something here - this is my version of “brand new” things. The American equivalent would be like going to Goodwill and purchasing second - or third hand - items. So we received a used pair of shoes, a hand-me-down shirt, and worn jeans. Regardless, this was still a luxury for us.)
Being raised as one of nine children by a single mother in one of the poorest nations on earth meant that this was typically the only time of year we would get a different outfit, because honestly, her biggest concern was to provide at least one meal a day for us. You tell me where would she have the money to buy a Christmas tree or anything else that exemplified the Western ideal of Christmas.
It was during those years of "plenty" that we felt as if we were in heaven, untouchable almost. It was a time for us to go out and “show off” to other kids who lived in the same situation as us and gave us the opportunity to finally get to celebrate that day like other kids who had better lives than us. In those years, we got to simply be a regular kid like everyone else for one day.
As I grew older and moved to the city, I was able to see how others celebrated Christmas. By then, I had accepted Jesus as my Savior, so December 25th had now come to mean Christmas and celebrating the birth of Christ. But even then, the holiday celebrations still did not look like an American Christmas.
The most memorable part of Christmas as an adult in Mozambique was simply spending time with family and friends. We would go to church together and worship the Lord. Then everyone would gather together, and no matter what house you went to, you were welcomed with open arms as if you were a part of their family and invited to eat whatever food they had prepared as you visited with them.
We didn't have that compulsive and exaggerated desire to buy gifts, nor did the marketers dedicate themselves to that excessive appeal to consumerism that I have experienced here in America. One thing I don't recall neither as a child nor as an adult in Mozambique is ever being anxious at Christmas about giving or receiving a gift. I don't recall being restless at gatherings, eagerly awaiting the moment to open a present. That just was not the focus.
However, it's a completely different story here in America. When I first arrived here in Kentucky, it was the beginning of November. Little did I realize that I was about to be baptized - no, more like drowned - in my first encounter with an American Christmas.
People everywhere were so busy, spending all the money that they had (or didn’t have) buying gifts, decorating their houses like they were trying to wave in a Boeing 777, and above all else just making this time of year all about themselves.
I could not get over how people were so obsessed with buying gifts. Everything was all about the gifts, even weeks in advance of December 25th. I remember thinking that everyone had forgotten the real meaning of Christmas. You can imagine me judging everybody! I had never felt so pressured to buy gifts until I came here, and it did not take long for me to feel the weight of this new stress on my life that had not existed back home.
Despite what my wife may think, I do like Christmas - just not this version. What I miss most about home at this time of year is the simplicity of how we celebrate. There is no stress or pressure to have excessive amounts of money to buy presents for anyone, yet there is still joy and excitement and a gift to be enjoyed.
The joy comes from having enough money to buy food and invite your family, friends, and neighbors to gather around and enjoy a meal with you. The excitement comes not from anticipation of a present being opened up, but from seeing family walk through the door that you may not have seen in months or meeting new people who quickly become like family. The gift itself is being with family and anyone else who might show up to celebrate this day with you.
But not everything is terrible about an American Christmas. For instance, it is an amazing experience to see how people here are so genuinely thrilled about Christmas. I think it is wonderful to see the time and devotion people put into decorating their houses in order to make a dark time of year a little more cheerful. I enjoy hearing about the Christmas traditions that have been carefully passed down from one generation to the next, and how like us, family is still a big focus of this time of year.
Don’t tell anyone, but perhaps my thinking has even changed a little concerning Christmas time and all the fuss put into the lights, trees, and decorations. I want to emphasize the words a little.
In closing, I/we would say neither of our cultures actually celebrate Christmas as it should be celebrated. Once again, we find ourselves trying to take the best pieces from each of our cultures, striving to craft a harmonious blend guided by the wisdom of God's Word.
So the real question is: Why and how should we celebrate Christmas?
The true meaning of Christmas has nothing to do with whether your family puts up a real or artificial Christmas tree, or any tree at all, for that matter. Regardless of how we celebrate, we should focus on the fact that it is not about us but about Jesus, and as a result, we should make this day, this entire season, our whole life, about Him. Let Him be celebrated and let us honor Him in every way because of the simple and miraculous truth that He was born from a virgin in order to fulfill God's plan, which is to save us from eternal damnation.
We celebrate Christmas because God humbled Himself to enter the world as a baby, and cloaked Himself in full humanity in order to be Emmanuel, God with us. We celebrate because the birth of Jesus Christ was the fulfillment of prophecy and the restoration of hope after 400 years of silence. We celebrate because the arrival of Jesus meant that we now have an opportunity to receive salvation and spend eternity with God.
While we may disagree on petty things such as whether or not we should begin decorating two months in advance or if it is really necessary (or even possible) to try and recreate a Hallmark Christmas movie in real life, one thing we do agree on is that Christ should be the center.
We do not pretend to know what we are doing about most things in life, and we are definitely not trying to act as if we have perfected how to navigate the holiday season. Trust me, we still struggle with not allowing ourselves to be consumed by worldly things. For instance, just last night we may or may not have stood in front of the flat screen televisions on sale at Walmart trying to justify how we could sell a kidney to purchase a bigger t.v. since the size of our current television screen rivals that of Michael Scott’s plasma screen t.v. from The Office episode where he invited everyone over to his home for a couples-only dinner party.
I can also neither confirm nor deny if we had to remind ourselves more than once while Christmas shopping for our toddler that just because something was on sale and a “good price” did not mean that we needed to buy it. (I’m talking to you child-size-blender-and-plastic-fruit-pretend-smoothie set.) And yea, we are still up in the air about how Santa will exist in our family. (I just heard our American family gasping from miles away.) So just believe me when I say that we are far from perfect.
All we know is that we want to honor God in everything we do, including how we celebrate Christmas. For us, that looks like less gifts under the tree and more time spent around the table with those we love. It means less stress, guilt, and worry about what we can or cannot buy for people and more laughter, love, and joy in the midst of the regular, everyday moments. It means no longer being ashamed of the fact that we live a humble life by American standards and instead being grateful for the things God has given us that money could never buy.
It also, thankfully, means not having to sell a kidney (or any other internal organs) just to fulfill a Christmas wish list that we felt pressured by cultural norms to create in the first place.
We hope you will join us as we endeavor to put the focus of this season back on Jesus and strive to honor God in all areas of our Christmas celebrations.
And as always, we pray that the Lord blesses you greatly and that you forever look to Him as your personal guide and Savior as we all continue to travel between two worlds. 🤎
The Wife’s P.S.
But for the record, please know that I am still not giving up on my dream of decorating as a family to Bing Crosby’s Christmas album…even if I am the only one dancing a little offbeat.
Christmas Request:
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